I’m one of those people who grew up watching Disney on Television. So don’t
be surprised when I declare that I do very much believe in their theme song
“when you wish upon a star…”
Disney is all about dreams coming true, fairytales and happy endings. It’s
natural for all little girls who read and watch Disney to have hopes and wishes
which they believe will someday be fulfilled.
Disney helped me create a habit. I couldn’t let go of this habit for a long
time.
My bedroom has two windows and two beds. Although it’s a guest room, I’ve
slept in it for as long as I can remember. My bed, the one I sleep on, is
beside a big window. Since my room is on the top floor of the house, I have
always been able to see the sky and always will unless skyscrapers start
soaring around town. Almost every night I wouldn’t close my eyes without taking
a final glimpse of the night sky. It was probably my way of saying a little
prayer for the world. At times I’d like to photograph that picture of the night
sky in my mind’s eye and take it with me until the morrow, so it would bring me
good dreams. Despite the fact that it did not offer an extraordinary views (for
I could only see the moon at times.) I simply couldn’t sleep without doing
this.
There were never any stars, I could see however. This was unfortunate but I
knew that it was due to the city’s lights that the stars remained hidden from
view.
But like most children I had hope that someday I’d be able to see a real
starry night sky, perhaps the Milky Way itself. That day has not come yet. But
I was able to see two to three stars among which one stood out prominently. I
couldn’t differentiate between planets and stars back then so I guess I took
them to be one and the same.
I don’t remember the date that specific star began to appear. But it always
remained in the same place each night. Thus my night time ritual was enhanced.
I now not only looked at the sky but I also searched for that star in
particular. It was the sole determinant of my luck and fortune the following
day would bring. Whenever I saw that star, I’d be reminded of those lines from
the Disney song “all your dreams will come true…”
So, I’d take my chances and make a wish as often as I could, as if I had
nothing to lose. The real surprise is that, those wishes did come true, each
and every little one of them.
In this way, not a night would pass without me looking at that star and
whenever a wish came true, I would send flying kisses as a token of
thankfulness. Thus it became my guiding star. I would sometimes make decisions
even with the help of that star.
It had been two years now that the
star stayed where it was each night continually appearing for me. So much so
that I thought it was indeed created for me. That star became my friend in the
course of time. I grew to love it, I loved to converse with it about my day
because it would simply listen- in silence.
But something’s happen so suddenly refusing to offer any explanation.
Yes, my guiding star, my guardian angel call it what you may, disappeared.
One fine night, I happily drew my curtains to catch a glimpse of the star,
but alas, it was nowhere to be seen. I was so much of a positive thinker at the
time that a part of me wasn’t able to believe that it might never come back.
This sudden disappearance of the star marked an important phase in my
growing up years. It meant that I need no longer be wholly dependent on that
star to make life’s decisions. In time I learnt to be my own guide without
being influenced by a non-living ball of fire miles and miles away.
Looking back I sometimes laugh upon my naivety and how easy it was for me
to believe so strongly and get swayed by my own beliefs. But all of that has
gone into making me who I am today which I’m proud of. The star has thought me
an important lesson of faith, one that I will always remember. It could be
faith in God, faith in the universe or some kind of force that holds the world
together or perhaps even faith in my own self.
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